We booked a 10-year company anniversary at Manyatta Camp, expecting sunset pools and elephants, and instead got a two-act comedy of errors directed by Stella and Elsie. Act 1: Arrival. We unload, climb to the restaurant, see elephants, then are told no rooms for us because our booking was apparently for the sister hotel, Voi Wildlife Lodge. No written proof? Tough luck. Cue a convoy to Voi: a sprawling, touristy complex with prison-cell rooms, dusty staircases, and a "superior" balcony view of nowhere. Our driver mutters, "they always do this here." Charming. Act 2: Dinner. Promised a "fireside gala" - delivered: a concrete slab squeezed between a parking lot and a soccer pitch. The buffet was uninspired. Mid-dinner we are magically told Manyatta now has rooms due to a "last-minute cancellation." Very convenient. Act 3: Safari. The 3-hour drive turned into a comedy of confusion. At 6 am we were told everyone had to complete an online payment for conservation fees and present passports, information we had not been given in advance. That ate up an hour. One vehicle had a ranger who hardly spoke English, listened to the radio the whole time, and gave zero commentary, leaving first-time safari guests with questions and crickets. The same driver also drove recklessly - I was whipped in the face by a hanging wire at a gate, then accidentally sprayed with windshield-washer soap when he used the washer while the vehicle was in motion. It felt less like a guided safari and more like a slapstick routine. Brunch at Voi’s spa restaurant, overlooking the park, was the only bright spot. But then the camp refused to release our bags until an unpaid brunch surcharge was settled, despite us having prepaid 90% of the bill. Billing turned into a hostage negotiation. I asked for a discount; Elsie and Stella dodged responsibility, and security almost wouldn’t let me leave until they grudgingly offered 15 percent and waved us out with no apology. Summary: If you want unexpected plot twists, bad communication, and managers who turn celebrations into endurance events, book this place. If you want your anniversary, wedding, or team getaway to actually be enjoyable, avoid Stella, Elsie, and both properties. Our team celebrated anyway, but I would not recommend this experience.